Tsunami of Corruption

Tsunami of Corruption

I go back to my favorite refrain. People get the governance they deserve. So actually we are getting what we deserve. The only problem is, we don’t wish to admit that this is what we deserve. Since a candid admission of a malaise is the first step toward a remedy, being in mode of chronic self denial, we never set ourselves to cure it.

Also, corruption is not unique to India. If there are few who believe there is none in USA, they are deluding themselves. I am not particularly a fan of Micheal Moor but I am indeed a believer of the old folk truth, that there is no smoke without fire. In fact I feel the colonial powers both old and new, are plagued kleptocracies, which systematically loot and ravage geographies. Can someone justify the American misadventure in Vietnam or the shameless ingression in Iraq for the ennobling cause of toppling a dictatorial regime or Afghanistan or even the apparently innocuous policy of turning a blind eye to Israeli “ nuclear ambivalence”, or continually funding Pakistan knowing fully well that such aide was being used to fuel anti India terror.

That Lincoln reshuffled some his top aides on charges of corruption, Watergate compelled Nixon to resign. The pursuing investigation of Watergate, exposed the Americans further. But clearly, all prevalent and pervasive corruption is peculiar to only some 3rd world countries. Clearly, it is symptomatic of dictatorial regimes, of banana republics and of communistic oligarchies. India is one unique example of a vibrant democracy plagued with rampant corruption.

On corruption in India, a history professor of mine used to joke, when a despot like Allauddin Khilji could not curb corruption, then no one can. Manmohan, you have an alibi. In India the ire has been, foreigners ruled far too long. May be 1000 years. Just about when the Muslim rulers were forgetting their foreign roots and were integrating with the civilization of the Ganges, they got replaced by British and the saga was retold. To the British, duping India and exploiting her resources and oppressing its people, was a their duty to the crown, and the underlying principle of colonial burden. A brazen and most depraved devouring of a land was clearly not corruption. It was an institutionalisation of corruption. In India there is lot of hypocrisy. At least the well meaning minions and mandarins, an ever dwindling miniscule minority thinks nothing less than bringing in Ram Rajya, knowing fully well, it is utopian and not practical. So the starting point is itself is wishful. We often extol something that we call personal integrity. This means, “I don’t touch money”. Yet I have a pocket that you could put this in.

If money has changed hands for the nuclear liability bill, Manmohan who was championing this, is tainted. How can he claim impeccable personal integrity? Who cares, if the money did not go into any of his personal account or those of his kin. A government he was stewarding has used unaccounted and ill-gotten wealth to buy votes and trounce democratic opposition. In India, there is another issue that ails the system. You are everything first before you an Indian. The only moment you are Indian first is when playing cricket against Pakistan. The Pakistanis should think so, is clear, that is indeed always the psychology of the younger delinquent son, whose fortunes have been compromised vis a vis his illustrious elder brother. He is destructive, envious and conniving. The fault lines moved, wreaked havoc – 8.9 on the Richter scale. The buildings swayed yet did not collapse. The quality of construction was so good. The damage in Japan was due to the Tsunami, ie. the water not the earthquake. Do recall, there was an earthquate in Bhuj. Just 6.9 on the Richter scale and all of Bhuj saving some buildings of the Airforce was razed to the ground. This is corruption too. 3G / Adarsh / CWG, they have just got highlighted. Pick up anything, you will find a scam. Police and army bharti ( selection at Sepoy Level ), liquor licenses, the list is endless, and most honest or their offices or their parties are beneficiaries of this slush income.

The Children of Tutakhamun

It was one of my usual business trips when I try and cover all contiguous markets to save time and money. So from Istanbul I flew Turkish Airways to Cairo. Turkish Airlines was an accidental yet a good surprise.

Infact I had protested to HRG Sita my travel agent why they put me on Turkish, an untried though Star Alliance carrier. HRG told me I had approved it. This must have been those hypnagogic moments when I say yes to many things which I believe do not merit minute attention. But as you can imagine I later regret.

But the airline was a delight. The Business class was good, hospitality I think second to may be Singapore Airlines, fare competitive and food choices enough. The Business Class was also quite sparsely populated that added to the comfort.

The day I landed in Cairo, Tunisian dictator Ben Ali had sought asylum in Saudi.
Cairo was whispering. The soothsayers predicted turmoil if not doom. The contagion of the Jasmine Revolution was deemed to take over this north African land of the Nile.

Call it determinism or the operation of the anthropic principle, the children of Tutankhamun seemed destined for a period of unrest and strife. I say anthropic as I think the conditions are determined by the outcome as much as the outcome by the conditions. The argument may sound counterintuitive on a logical plane but on a platonic one you will see it holds merit.

Well Egypt indeed bears similarities with India. The society is hierarchical. The culture is rich and ancient. Anthropomorphisation was integral to both cultures till the wave of Islamisation swept the land of Nile like it did all the contiguous lands. The only difference being that India retained its culture in some variegated form, like wine maturing in a bottle, and Egypt lost it to Islam. It took the westerners to help Egyptians recognize the science of the Giza Pyramids or the pristine nature of their cultural richness and heritage.

In fact in some respects, the rot in Egypt was evidently more than India. I traveling with my agent whose car bore the sign of the Parliament. He was hailed by a cop for overshooting the zebra at A traffic light. Noticing the sign of the Parliament on the car, the cop smiled and stepped back. In India now a days they do make a pretense of the equality before law.

Also at the entrance of the museum I got a feeling some Americans were let in with out proper identification. When I shouted/protested, the security officers were apologetic. This too was familiar. First allow in violation of a rule and upon being checked behave sheepishly, in fact the guards at the entrance thought I was some person in authority even though not Egyptian. The only difference being, that in India they would perhaps not allow foreigners without frisking but anybody in white khaddar or an I card with steel chain (a bureaucrat )they would.

HUM DONO RANGEEN

Hum Dono Rangeen

After many years I watched a movie in the theatre. They are called multiplexes today. The multiplex is not so much about the multi-screens as it is about multi-cuisine food court within.

When I was young in middle school, eating out was not considered good. Although even then, in the more westernized Indian family systems, it had started gaining some acceptance. Today if you eat at home the whole week, it is a shame
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Higher disposal incomes today are redefining mores not just in India but the emerging world at large. Just as in my grandfather’s time, eating out was a sin, causing perdition, today an outing is incomplete unless you masticate on something preferably non India, unless of course you are traveling abroad. Ironically, much as we like to eat non Indian food in India, a zealous hunt for an Indian restaurant is the top on the to-do list as soon as we land abroad.

Coming back to Hum Dono! We went, we parked and we bought the tickets and of course arranged our tray of eatables even in anticipation of the movie.

Hum Dono is a movie of my parents’ generation. It is about Captain Anand ( Devanand ) and the scintillating doppelganger Major Verma, their spouses and mothers. Thus, clearly a different genre of movie making; emphasizing on subtleties of relationships, emotions, sentiments and virtue, calling for imagination from the modern generations to relate to the scenes and storyline, and too slow for even my generation which seeks instant gratification and the younger one which finds such sentimentality at best risible.

So on one side where there was so much sentimentality on the celluloid, there was lot of family dynamics to be experienced in the rows behind and in front. Indians, gregarious as they are, they are also immensely family centric. They love connecting with other members of family. So they go to view movies in groups. They like idea of movie more than the movie. So seat exchanging and adjustments are continuously happening. Sometimes even at the hazard of your hair being pulled by some panic grip of your head rest for restoring balance in the dark. They also want their moneys worth and hence wish all of the family to understand should something be subtle and not so obvious, so continuous prompting is a standard practice.

Hum Dono treats amongst others the ‘61 military engagement with China, so there are staccato bursts of gunfire between the platoon of the wiry Devanand and Chinese troops on the screen in front tuned on modern Dolby sound. But behind me was the chomp chomp chomp of Nachos. I curse Mexicans for this gift. The gunfire stopped but chomp chomp lasted through out as today the munching is not confined to the intervals.

If business is ignored, then the movie cannot be afforded and hence cell phones kept ringing and many busy people continued to transact business also much as they continued to translate the subtle portions for their spouses. On top, if this was not enough, there was a family with two children. Their chuckle was undying.

Jai ho.

THE BURDEN OF THE DYNASTY

Just like every individual every country also has a destiny. And every destiny has a burden. And every burden has a cost. An integral burden of India’s destiny is the Nehru-Gandhi family. And the cost of this burden has been immense down the ages.

Nehru was a man in a hurry. He did indeed have “miles and miles to go before he slept”. In his eagerness to acquire a global stature he blundered many times at home. Nonetheless, something that he did fool proof and none of his peers (some like Sardar and Bose were with even better credentials) could was to institutionalize a process that would continue to anoint his heirs to the throne he would vacate.

To me the Nehru family is a big liability. A bigger liability is our mentality to let it stay at the helm of the country killing the essence of the democratic process. The country has returned to them much more than the sacrifice that they made. Game is being laid for Rahul to be the next prime-minister. Our current PM (a very learned man) is perpetually supplicating to the matron willing to bow out in favor of Rahul upon signal of the matronly Sonia.

Rahul is of course a very eligible prime ministerial candidate. He has now even lived in a dalit home and broken bread with them in all earnest. He is serious about becoming the PM. He has equated RSS to SIMI. He has always shown great understanding of this lands variegated culture, and now courtesy Wikileaks he has even shown great networking skills by sending an SMS to Obama that Hindu terror is a bigger threat than the perpetrators of 9/11.

The matron of course has on many occasions in the past given many positions of public power a go by as her primary objective is to see her son in saddle in a bid to preserve the dynasty than usurp power for herself. In fact, it is best to have authority without any accountability as she does. In India, Prime Ministerial berth can be manipulated. The democratic system shall not have the option to decide.

The politicians and even bureaucrats have this uncanny capability to dismember good institutions, even emasculate them and give political masters reasons and means to constrict any form of opposition.

I very clearly remember my mother tell me a story how Gen JN Chaudhary one of the best soliders that this country had, opposed Nehru (some people say JNC even threatened Nehru with house arrest) just out of disgust at the stupid decisions that he was taking in the context of both Pakistan and the China. Nehru with the support of Krishna Menon dismembered the institution of Joint Chief which threatened his unencumbered sway on the country.

Just about when the Indian forces got their act in order in JnK and started the process of recouping the land lost to Pakistan inch by inch, Nehru dug his heels and pulled the troops back. What a disaster!

Indira did make some gains at the Simla pact but failed to get LoC recognized as the international border despite the release of 90,000 prisioners of war. Again, Nehru despite internal and American warnings refused to see the irredentist designs of the Chinese in the Nefa.

Indira Gandhi clearly did integrate Nefa as Arunachal - first as a UT and then as a full fledged state - but the same could not be done with Kashmir. Again Nehru made a blunder of escalating Kashmir to the UN and agreeing to plebiscite.

Of course the integration of Arunanchal was much simpler, as the local population was not muslim. If NEFA had been predominantly muslim may be government would not have liked to integrate it. I think all governments work on the premise, probably unfounded, that Muslims are not Indians. Else how can hanging the joker who masterminded the Parliament blasts in which so many people were killed be construed to hurt muslim sentiments. Most quarters believe this to be the reason for the case to drag. I don’t speak for Muslims but I cannot imagine why their sentiment would be so sinfully parochial.

May be the signal intended is that no matter what you do, till you vote for us, we will turn a blind eye to what you do even if it is defiling the sanctum sanctorum of democracy – the Parliament. Of course, any group of citizens will like this special treatment, why only the Muslims. That the muslim brotherhood enjoys this and also uses to propagate the fear psychosis is another matter. But clearly one aberration that the muslims must rectify is their propensity to cast block vote. They must cast with their mind on not based on Fatwa.

Something is wrong with me

Something is wrong with me

My Grandfather was wont to deprecate himself a lot and would often blame himself for things that sometimes he was not even remotely connected with. This would always bemuse me. Till one day he narrated another very interested anecdote which for me did shed light on his psyche.

It was about Vinoba Bhave, the Gandhian to the core, and no less a Mahatma than the Mahatma himself. The man who walked endlessly day on day, four times the circumference of the earth to collect to distribute amongst the landless, 4 million acres of land taken from landlords. No mean achievement, nay a gargantuan achievement in a country where land is scarce, where the system is feudal and status is tied and even measured in terms of ownership of land.

This peripatetic saint - Vinoba Bhave, and I say peripatetic, as I too am, like most of my English medium educated friends are bound by the limitations of western rationalism which would never comprehend Tapa - had walked to a mofussil town in UP.

Vinoba once reached a school and demanded to use the play ground of the school for holding his Bhoodan meeting. Overawed by Vinoba, the principal agreed. But it being a government school, just to be on the safe side, he called up the District Inspector of Schools (DIOS) for a formal approval. This “kaan me baat daalna” and that too post facto, is as you can see not a new phenomenon with bureaucrats, and is a pre-existing condition with them. The DIOS cited some fine print of the rule book denying use of government schools for political purposes and reprimanded the principle for allowing the saint the venue.

On learning that he had been equated with political parties, this saint imbued with righteous indignation stood under a tree and started slapping himself. Panicking, the DIOS reported the matter to his superior - my grandfather - who unlike the others was alien neither to Vinoba’s stature nor to his ways - who rushed to the venue of this melodrama. Sorry, Vinoba's tree of penance.

Vinobas was cursing and blaming himself, muttering, “there must be something wrong with me, that the DIOS equated my cause to a political one”. And he would not relent. It was quite a while before my grandfather, diminutive in stature to the Gandhian, but a man of significant erudition and indefatigable spirit himself, could finally calm the saint. Interestingly, he had to resort to slapping himself, as the deeply offended saint would not give in to anything less than his own remedy.

Vinoba was personification of Tapa which was inspiring Dana and even Tyaga. His Tapa was urging people to donate land. He was also a man who would internalize the blemishes external to him and try to heal them from within.

In a land that gave birth to him and many greater than him, how could we have thieves all around now.

A Full Circle?

A Full Circle

My favorite refrain for many years - when Bihar will become Magadha, India will become Bharat. As CEO, an activity that I keenly pursue is attending conferences. All my other colleagues are always neck deep in work to do so. And conference after conference I notice two penchants of speakers - one, to dissect and descant upon the story of a precariously poised India at crossroads, debating on the Hamletian dilemma of to grow rapidly or not to grow so rapidly and two, to compare India with China. These speakers who look at India from a typically onlooker standpoint see India in flux, try to capture in a snapshot an ever changing panorama and then use that snapshot to hatch their very own projection of the future of India.

At one recent conference, some very successful practicing consultants crystal ball gazed and predicted that Indian Pharmaceutical companies will become increasingly local and inward looking. Based on what cues only he would know. For me this not contrarian, this is simply stupid. This is like Indian pharma retracing steps undoing the milestones already crossed.

For me there is hope. The Bihar electorate’s verdict was an enlightened one.
In India despite corruption having become a way of life, there is still a huge population of people who are honest to the book. When these people come to positions of influence and power, which is not so common - usually the important positions are usurped by their more “networked “colleagues - these men of probity do make a difference. Unfortunately the impact that they make stays mostly at the top. If the change made stays only at the top, it is not sustainable, till it percolates to the bottom. Even the impact of revolutions takes generations to set in. Slow paced transitional change takes much more. Corruption and greater than that lack of intellectual integrity or rampant intellectual infidelity are the two woes that shall continue to daunt each stride that India takes.
If corruption has to be really addressed, then retribution must be speedier. If intellectual integrity is to be inculcated, then importance of country before self has to be emphasized. For this, the kindergarten generation has to be attended. The values that they imbibe need to be different. The environment that they get should be different from what we got. The goals that they set for themselves should be different that we set for ourselves. This intervention will best be made by schools. If responsibility of values formation is left to parents, the survival instincts will dilute the intentions of even the well meaning parents. The teacher enjoys a third party legitimacy that a parent does not. Kids always view the intervention of parents as that of an interested party, till they are old enough to imbibe the purport. But if the schools have to deliver, the teachers have to be good. If the teachers have to be good, the right orientation people have to come in the teaching profession. If the good people have to come in teaching profession, then they have to sacrifice more lucrative alternative options. If they do so, then the society has to compensate them with extreme respect and reverence. In which case, our newly acquired value system needs to metamorphose quite a bit and knowledge / erudition / sacrifice or simply said adhyaatma and tyaaga have to have precedence on material wealth and attendant frivolous contraptions that announce it. Are we then returning to the rhetorical rectitude representative of the stereotype golden period “shikshak”. Will some champion of social engineering scream - Brahmanical manuvad? Do we come back a full cycle. But do we have an option?

Yellow Journalism or Crappy Journalism

Indian Media and Indian people! What should I say about both? Particularly, when I am an Indian myself and proud of being one.

Our media clearly is an armchair media. Do people like it that way? I have always argued, poor authorship is as much to blame as poor readership or viewer-ship. Media will show quality, if the viewers would demand it. If trash is generating cash, and trash being created and televised, then there is somewhere an audience that is lapping up that trash.

Well the fourth estate world-wide takes some liberties. In the late 1800s in the US, to drum up support for the war and for many sundry political issues, and of course for ramping up circulation to keep in step with the increased productivity due to mechanization of the industry as a consequence of the industrial revolution, Yellow Journalism evolved and soon became rampant.

License to Concoct
I must be pursuing 10+2. One day my mother was on her routine morning walk. Some miscreants on a Vijay Super scooter snatched her chain. Indomitable as she is, she tried to chase them. The thug riding pillion fired a shot at her from his country made hand gun. Next day Dainik Jagran carried a completely novel version with even a wrong name. If you are creative journalist, then lack of facts should not deter you in your reporting magnificence.

License to Exaggerate
I had just about become CEO and was still learning to handle the media. Often, my most innocuous discussions with some media people on the sidelines of a pharma-conference, made news the next day about which was so far removed from reality that I had a tough time answering a stream of calls from my friends in the industry who called in to verify.

License to Neglect
Of 1999, I remember, when Pakistani army rangers had crept into Kargil / Drass / Tiger hill, Indian media and lot of my friends were busy tracking a cricket match. To the media the losing Indian cricket team was more important than the soldiers dying to win the ground back from the enemy.

License to Negate
Surprisingly, the whole world has been concerned about the nuclear status of Pakistan saving those who assisted them in getting one or those still clandestinely assisting them to remain one. But the Indian media has never treated an unstable Pakistan sitting on a pile of nuclear warheads a cause for concern or alarm. We tacitly believe, Pakistan will promote terrorism but exercise restraint and responsibility as far as nuclear weapons is concerned. Nuclear weapons perhaps will not be the even the last resort. We are happy having a hot line between India and Pakistan. How counterintuitive?

Propensity to Deny
Similarly, there is no channel which reports the situation simmering in the North East. The nation may well be caught unawares in a Naxalite like cauldron. Naxalism brewing for decades was never highlighted by media. For the media like so many of us, NE is mentally perhaps not a part of India.

License to Omit
When China was creeping into parts of Arunanchal, the media was busy covering frivolous controversies about the newly nose jobbed Shilpa Shetty’s ouster from Big Brother. A turn off from such programming can be the best reprimand to a media with completely skewed priorities. But we don’t do that. We lap up all the frivolous content they create. We prefer to hear the abusive language that a demented Salman uses for a compromised Aishwarya, his ex-girlfriend on a phone tap.

License to re-define Mores
Pelvic thrusts are no longer considered vulgar. Item numbers can be shown in news hours. Sexual innuendos don’t suffer the scissors of the editors. Family talk shows like Coffee with Karan could have embarrassing anecdotes and awkward questions. The latest obsessions of all channels today is a gyrating Sheena (the item number of Ms Kaif ), or Liz Hurley - Shane affair.

License to Judge a-priori
The media is very quick to pass judgements even before having facts in place. The assumptions used are simple. All politicians are corrupt. Their kids are always delinquent. Men in uniform are higher on integrity than civilians. Doctors are in sensitive. South Indians a black. Punjabis are aggressive but good at heart. Hindus are communal. Muslims are terrorists. Bigger vehicles will mow smaller ones. American are high handed.

License to Sensationalize / Jeopardize
The media greatly comprised the Indian commandoes’ strategy by showing minute details on television which greatly helped the Pak based handlers of terrorists holed up in Taj on 26/11. Very recently, the media also sensationalized the story of a Sikh diplomat being subjected to pat down search at an US Airport. Barkha Datta was made famous by her Kargil coverage. But we here she had compromised the safety of an infantry unit by her reporting.

Power of Media : I don’t believe media has power per se. It is the power of the mass opinion they can mobilize or sometimes the mass hysteria that they can whip up. The power of media is power of that anonymous man who is actually on his own is quite powerless. But the opinion of this common, faceless man living in anonymity somewhere has immense power.
But often media personalities, who are merely carriers of this opinion feel they themselves wield the power. Barkha Dutts beware. Ramchandra Shukla and Shyamsunder Dass were pioneers of Hindi journalism. They died paupers. How come modern journalists have so much money?

Ratan Tata's Fall from Grace

Ratan’s fall from Grace

One of the people from the corporate world that I greatly admired was Ratan Tata. I feel that India as a country does not recognize in full measure the contribution that industry captains like him bring to the country.

But latest revelations, his dialog with a go - between, rather dalal like Kenya born Nira Radia has been a big disappointment for Tata fans like me. I could believe that Ratan Tata would deign to discuss evening gowns with a woman who is today understood as a lobbyist till more skeletons are dug out.

Rajeev Chandrashekhar exposes Ratan Tata and the latter retorts with a sting and some uncharacteristic sarcasm. The purportedly shy and reticent Tata, who has usually shown restraint, poise and savoir faire in his public interface till date, now smitten, is eschewing his trademark reticence for pugilism.

I only pray, my second icon of industry – yet another person I idolize as much as Ratan Tata - Narayanmurthy - is not caught in such a blaze, having an obnoxious “business discussion” with a wheeler dealer. That too of the opposite sex – Nira Radia…. What is in the sex? If till date people refer to Kiran Bedi as the first lady IPS, or Naina Lal Kidwai as the first lady from HBS, then there is something in the sex beyond sex.

In my perspective, it is a slosh. Perhaps an indelible one on Tata. And if 1937 Mumbai born Tata is to live the legacy of the Paris born JRD even in some measure or even redeem the equity that he had over a life time himself built, he must – I don’t know how to say in English – stay Maun ( Sanskrit) . The court proceeding slotted for DEC 13, for staying the publication of tapes would actually pull his moderate indiscretion into even greater limelight, which at this juncture is best avoidable.

The moot point is the invasion of privacy. For public figures what is privacy? In return for the pedestal that people install you on, they need to know all that you stand for even in your private life. In return for the love and adoration they shower on you, they need to know whether you indeed are worthy of that. It is for this reason that they lap up all that comes in public domain about the private life of their icon and spend precious dining table hours debating and dissecting the motive of their icons indiscretion. Nobody is interested in knowing whats on in my private life.

Just imagine, what a let down for people like me, who are votaries of a Bharat Ratna for Ratan and also of his candidature for presidency of the country. Of course, the tapes not withstanding, if Pratibha Patil could become the president of India, any one can, but from my perspective, Tata could have been in the league of Kalam, and not a Patil like protégé of some Sonia whose claim to fame is by virtue of marriage to a man, whose claim to fame inturn was by virtue of birth in a particular family. But that thinking is now past.

He is a Peoples' Man

I have always believed, when Bihar will regain the glory of Magadha, India will regain the glory of Bharat.
The tilt in favor of Nitish is more than most of us expected. Yet I am not excited. In fact very disappointed. Nitish did manage a more than 2/3 majority, but Lalu still got 25 pct of the votes polled. Can you imagine a man who for 15 years looted Bihar, promoted nepotism, used the state machinery to sponsor lawlessness and terror, ran a kidnapping racket still polls 25 pct of votes. How skewed would the priorities of people who voted for him be.

Psephologists are ecstatic, as they got it right. The well meaning people are happy as good has triumphed over fraud and evil. But happiness is completely contingent on the reference frame. The moment you think that India is still a country that is 178th in the world on the Human Development Index, it is a backward country, still reveling in defunct institutions like caste, then of course you have come a long way. But the moment you look at India as a country with a glorious past and one poised for a glorious future, the elections’ is disappointing outcome.

While many Indians like to believe they are materially backward, but philosophically very enlightened and elite, it is clearly not borne out by the fact that their democratic system keeps a patron of corruption like Lalu in power for 3 terms. Their democratic system tolerates a scam stricken demitting CM to install his wife as the surrogate CM.

My disappointment notwithstanding, clearly the result actually establishes victory of earnestness, honesty, dedication and good governance on corruption and nepotism, chicanery and social engineering, the latter being actually a euphemism for casteism.

Macro indicators show an unbelievable change in the entire eco system of Bihar. Roads have begun to exist. Petrol pumps function more honestly. Hospitals are well appointed to treat patients. State sponsored kidnappings have stopped. Girls feel safe post sunset. Goondas don’t flout the laws with same impunity. Police stations lodge reports and are not just places for drying striped underwears.

I remember, Nitish as a very humble man. Once with my son who was still very small then, I was at the N Delhi railway station. Nitish Kumar then the railway minister was returning to Delhi by train. In India the aides of a VIPs deem it their personal failure if their master has to walk a few steps. So cars are parked so as snugly as possible and as farther as they can reach to the arrival lounges, to facilitate the transfer often inconveniencing people. Infact someone foreign to the system would feel that in India all VIPs are handicapped may be. So, this time was no exception. His car was parked in such a manner that it straddled the entire entrance stairway. I was furious and shouted at his driver. The gunners felt outraged at the sight of a common man talking upto them and surrounded me. Meanwhile Nitish Kumar arrived and upon learning the cause he apologized to me. He did not need to do that. He took one step more and snubbed his henchmen for the rowdy behavior. What should I say. He is a peoples' man.

I Heckled and then Walked Out

The First Heckle

The Comedy Store was started sometime in the late 70s atop a strip club in SOHO, London, I suppose inspired by the comedy theatres of USA. This company has a franchise in India also operating out of a posh mall in Parel, Mumbai.

The outfit claims to be a temple for stand up comedians and it is said that there is no stand up comedian worth his salt who has at some point of time not performed at the Comedy Store.

So I was there, casually dressed, actually ill-dressed, in a white T Shirt hidden beneath a dark blue cotton sweat shirt. The crowd that I saw was defying the stereotype of theatre goers that I had in mind as I would usually see at the Prithvi theatres. The kurta, jeans and sachel was completely missing, and the neo rich, most pretentious Hinglish speaking anglophile crowd populated the waiting lounge cum bar. The men were in skin tight shiny shirts and the women were of course in short skirts. There was enough flesh to ogle at while groups transacted flirtatiously over drinks in the bar. Presumably, more money is made in the bar than the show.

The show anchor was himself a stand up comedian. There were three more in the line for the performance including one Indian.

Stand up comedy too like most arts has been evolving. It started as a racist and regionalist wet and wild humor. But eventually this genre with overt racist content was considered to be in poor taste and passed into desuetude in due course. Today, the standard of stand up in many cases degenerated into ill appointed sexual innuendoes. Although I agree, it is healthy to laugh, and it is even more healthy to laugh on your ownself. But standards or yardsticks have to be uniform. If comedians constantly make fun of your country, religion and culture and not theirs it is really laughing at others and not at themselves.

But the show which began as a satire on Indians and all that was Indian, and all that India stood for, soon degenerated into sexual innuendoes and eventually pornography. We did witness a detailed depiction of a priapic lover fornicating and then masterbating as his woman was turned off by the air mattress they had at their home. Pathetic humor. Actually no humor. And even more pathetic content. But what was noteworthy was the fact that the audience laughed their intestines out even at such a crass depiction that was clearly and overly offensive for even boorish sensibilities. What was most disappointing was the females seemed to be enjoying the filth much more than their male companions. May be brazenness is yardstick for emancipation.

Also, nobody seemed to be uncomfortable about the fun that was being made of the country, its culture and history, and of course of Indians in India and also the diaspora.
The audience just laughed. When I objected with vehemence to one of the extremely pejorative remark of a comedian about the country which I believed was completely uncalled for, he thought it was a typical heckle and tried to target his buffoonery at me.

Comedian : what do you do sir
Heckler ( me ) : I work for a pharma company
C : what do you do in the company, sweep the floor
H : yes housekeeping is also one of the functions reporting to me
C : you look very elite, you must be a brain surgeon
H : you bet
Man fm the audience : ( who was like me disgusted by these comedians) he can repair your penis that you wife crushed with a brick ( as this was one of the acts that the joker had done )

From the audience which would have been about 300 strong, I think there was just one more man both literally and proverbially who reacted to the stupid comedy. One stand up comedian even referred to the Tata acquisition of JLR as reverse racism. Just look at the mind set.

Of course, the ultmate insult that I could have hurled at the performers was to stage a walk out. I don’t think an artist could find anything more dejecting and disparaging than being booed or walked out upon from his performance. That is exactly what I did.

The question that I would pose is this. Can Indian stand up comedians travel to UK and reverse the humor on the British audience? Would the British audience be able to stomach such humor on themselves? In what capacity was the audience laughing then.
But one thing I am clear about. Xenophobia not withstanding, Indians will have to bring in some sense of self - worth, pride and propriety about their culture, country and history. Material progress without them would be futile.

Now I Know India is Great

Now I know Mera Bharat Mahan

Now I know for sure. India is truly a great country. I have no doubt anymore.
The president of United States has said so, and he can’t be wrong. Particulary the self effacing Obama who conjures in me images of my favorite Vulcan of Star Trek - Spock - who spoke nothing but truth.

Indian culture is great. The president of the United States has said so, and the first lady has gyrated on a Kholi number. No bigger vindication for a nation begging approval of the West.

I personally believe that Obama is a well meaning man but Americans will ensure he fails, just to establish, they gave a black guy a fair chance on the highest ideals of equality of opportunity and democratic values, but as a community they are not yet equipped enough to lead America and thereby the world.

I am now also convinced that Swami Vokanad (sic) aka Vivekananda was a great Swami visiting the hometown of Obama - Chicago - although I don’t think he succeeded in establishing Hinduism as the greatest religion as many of us like to believe because Obama did not say so. Or did he?

Seeing Michelle I always feel, she is a dominatrix. While the stressed first black president of USA slogs to redeem the pledge that he made to the people who voted him to power, Michelle does all fun stuff flaunting her sartorial sense ( which at least I believe is bizarre ) and outings. To me she gives Govinda a run with her acute sartorial sense.

In addressing the joint session of the parliament, I think Obama had his tryst with the most corrupt of politicians of the world under one roof. May be some dictators in Africa or Latin America could beat the Indians in corruption, but collectively, the Indians will be clear winners. Many Indian politicians could even buy the Queen of England hands down or tease Warren Buffet at his own game.

He also saw how the most vibrant and largest democracy appoints a President whose only claim to fame is being close to the first family. The Prime Minister has not faced the electorate but is generally perceived as a safe stop gap arrangement ruling as regent till the prince Rahul is of age. Although, an avid commentator may in a saccade of the eye on the American political firmament gloat on parallels like Palin or Bush himself. But that is no savior.

Obama and I would say America all of sudden remembered that India discovered the zero. May be in the next trip, economic compulsions would force him to recognize ancient India’s contribution to astronomy, science, medicine and philosophy also one by one.

Battling constantly falling rating at home, I don’t know how much Obama will gain returning to America with an applauding India on his back and India which was no longer emerging but an “emerged” economy.

Joe the Plumber

Joe the Plumber

Curiously, stupid questions but put to famous people could make you famous and therefore Joe the Plumber was no exception. Almost as famous as being at the helm of US Fed in a recession or marrying a spouse who is famous would make you.

But what is critical is the fact that the Plumber did question. And who. None other than a candidate running for presidency. How many societies in the modern world today encourage such debate and accountability. And we Indians despite having had an age old tradition of questioning and debating, reasoning and rationalizing, seem to of have abandoned such cognitive pursuits. Of course questioning has its own perils. Had it not been for the audacity of questioning, Ashtāvakra would have been born without deformities, perhaps the world would have known him with a different name too.

But in modern India, can even the most powerful today dare ask, how Sonia Gandhi runs her house. The very thought would be blasphemy. Why Z level security cover is deemed essential for Robert Wadra. How much wealth a Pawar or Mayawati possesses.

Even during the rule of descendants of Raghu, a petty washerman could question the legitimacy of a legendary King and Maryada Purshottam Ram’s decision to restore Sita. Saktar and Chanakya could question the mighty Nanda. Today, my wife a civil servant questioned probity and demeanor unbecoming of officers of some her bureaucrat colleagues, and many of her well wishers cautioned her to stop “rubbing people on the wrong side.” From childhood, we are coached to not call spade a spade. Not be abrupt. Not raise our voice against injustice and corruption. Not to question the system. Also how feeble our voice would be against the entire system. But in the same vein we are also taught lessons in diligence and industriousness that would either catapult us to an orbit where we will be beyond the corruption or be a beneficiary of the malaise than a victim.

Today in modern India, we are quite wary of un-ruffling feathers or as we prefer to say, rubbing people on the wrong side. The children of Vedas, Brahmanas and Upanishads, where the axiomatic Pari Prashnen was the fundamental basis of learning and wisdom, today desist questioning. What a 180 deg we have done. Increasingly I have a feeling, more than lack of national character, which has been my favorite theory for the ills of India ( and I sometimes recommend compulsory NCC as a remedy ) it is the withering of the tradition of questioning that is responsible for the all round rot.

May be, this blind allegiance to a diktat or acquiescing to organized malpractices was an outcome of Islamic rulers overrunning the country. India is perhaps the singular exception where Islamic rulers overran the country but Islam couldn’t. Of course, the monolithic system of Islamic tradition, did not allow any questioning. Questioning Allah or quoran was clearly punishable blasphemy. Just about when this system was collapsing under its own irrationality or due to fatigued armies - fatigued not from denuded military superiority but for want ideological sustenance, the land saw a similar onslaught in the form of British where the guiding force was even more vicious commerce instead of religion. It is true, post Power Loom west made immense material and philosophical progress, and it was simply for that reason, many of them realized in no time, that they had ahead of them a task to exploit a civilization - India that had not so long ago been far superior to theirs.

Then this gargantuan task was not to be achieved by military supremacy alone, but with a definitive politico – cultural strategy where establishing cultural superiority of the western thought and tradition was integral to long term protection of politico-military hegemony and commercial interests. Commercial gains would not be sustainable without political hegemony. India even today is wallowing in the travails of such systematic thinking, loot and plunder and worse still even after independence, when the Burra sahib has been merely replaced by the brown sahib. While political independence has been clearly achieved the mental yoke continues to plague us.

May be if the generation of our children will have more Joe the Plumbers, we could overthrow the yoke of the 1000 years of thraldom and make real progress.

Hinglish to Phindi in 50 years

From Hinglish to Phindi

I was able to break it in only the second attempt, and as the water dripped out from the brown kernel, the hall resonated with Jaidevi / Jaidevi and marked time for Navmi / Dussehra celebrations. For once it was Hindi /Marathi and not Phindi.

What is ubiquitous in India is the latent urge to be able to converse in English. It is the aspirational medium of communication. Most quarters of India are obsessed with this. When we used to live in Noida I remember a lady once announced with brimming pride that her 3 and 4 year old daughters were more comfortable blabbering in English than in Hindi.
It was true. But just imagine the effort that might have gone in ham training toddlers egging them not so speak in their mother tongue but English, and this too in middle class or upper middle class Indian family where a significant part of the care giving is done not by the mother but by a poorly paid help, capable of speaking only a crude dialect of Hindi not even proper Khariboli.

“I am like that only “, “he is like that only “, “ he is like very angry like “ or starting a sentence with “ what happens is “ as a word for word translation for the oft spoken “kya hota hai “. I want to “sale” my TV. I will tell to the teacher. If you will parse this prose, all this is pretty much acceptable syntax integral to the Hinglish that we speak.

It is not unusual for a language to morph due to practical usage. If you would read the English of 1300s, perhaps you will not comprehend it. Perhaps the complexion of English 200 years down the line could be very different. The Americans themselves have dealt quite a blow to the Puritanism of the language. Hindi however has been more recognizable over the millennium, due to its close proximity to Sanskrit which after the age of the Upanishads has been pretty much same and of course Prakrit.

But clearly, India is going English much more now than when the English were here. Go to the malls, all signages are in English. If you are educated, you ought to be fluent in English. Nevertheless, the impact of colonization is not so indelible in India as in the Americas or Australia, as the local or native or indigenous culture in India was too well grounded to be uprooted or decimated. Or even Egypt, where the muslim invaders changed the cultural landscape completely to Arabic. India’s heritage rather foundation of 5000 years could not have been uprooted in just few centuries. One reason for this failure of the muslim invaders or the Christian colonizers was the intricate complexion of the culture. There was a core that was completely cosmic, pure philosophy, devoid of mascots and thus indestructible, and there was the rest that was more ritual and practice around the core. You could jab or restrict the periphery by curbing the ritual, but never damage the core, which was pure energy. There was a personal religion, a personal deity or personal culture. You can clamp so much more easily on a congregational culture with practicing commandments, but how do you jab or change that which is cherished in just the heart.

Today, mandatory announcements at the railway stations / airlines or the Government Doordarshan are the only unalloyed Hindi verbalizing that we have. It is not supposed to be educated or refined, or hep or cool, don’t know which one, if you speak in chaste Hindi accent. You have to anglicize it. Just like the airhostesses who speak Hindi with a Phirangi accent. The Germans speak English with an accept – akso; the French speak English with a French accent – bon; the Indians speak Hindi with an English accent.

Recognized as a tool for upward mobility, it has a tremendous snob appeal. Logically, to put on accent is not supposed to be good. One of the Brit CEOs of a Indian pharma company spoke with a Yorkshire accent. There is no “munney” in the business for money, he would say. We always made fun of him. But for a commoner, it is good to put on an accent. Earlier it would take a few trips to the US or UK to lay genuine claim to an accent, but today it is just a stones throw away, at a local call centre. They teach you better than anyone can, how to drone the ka in Chicago.

There is a burgeoning population of protagonists of English language, unfortunately at the cost of local language or culture. I personally like English. But language is the vehicle of thought, and admit it or not, the vehicle will influence the thought. As a consequence, most of the Sanskrit speakers are out of India. Most of the experts of Vedic mathematics are outside of India.

We the People

It was 11 pm and I was back from the Gym to my TV watching routine, actually my mindless channel surfing routine. In a row, 4 Hindi news channels were apparently engaged in what they believe is their reason of existence - raising TRPs.
One was obsessively repeating the 6 time dress pulling act of Katrina Kaif, a Bollywood starlet, apparently whose scarlet designer gown that wouldn’t give up slipping. Wardrobe malfunction it is called these days. Sometimes people say it is pre-meditated.
A second channel was showing how post debut, the leading lady of Dabang Ms XYZ (??) tripped on her heals as she sashayed the ramp. This shot was also repeated about 20 times.
Live India the third channel that hesitatingly I switched to was showing Malika Sherawat maniacally gyrating to a Nagin number. India’s love for the nagin continues to live through generations.
A fourth channel was showing how a old Fort in Etawah, was still haunted by ghosts of nautch girls, as one of the rulers some Thakur ABC Pratap Singh Maharaj, ignored the counsel of a sage and brought on the occasion of holi, nautch girls, despite the foreboding of the sage. Since then, the curse that befell continues to haunt and even 100s of years down when anyone mustered the courage to tip toe the ominous sound of the late night anklet he is destined to die. And many actually had, claimed one of the villagers who out of fear was abdicating the village. An act symbolic of a society still suffering from the scourge of cast, superstition and totemic supernaturalism! But, regardless, the manner in which this was being televised is reinforcing the superstition not dismissing it.

All societies, Oriental or Occidental without exception, have had some sort of witchcraft at some point of time. Some sort of shamanite tradition at some point of time. Vestiges of these can be seen in the most societies even today in varying measures. But extolling it by televising on prime time is weird.

Neils Bohr was once asked about the horse shoe dangling on his quarters. He is believed to have denied any belief in superstition. But went on to say, “believe it or not, it does bring good luck”. From the famous Pascals wager it is clear, keep God on the right side, because if he does exist, it makes pragmatic sense to keep him on your right side. The same logic may well be extended to the supernatural, and the demonic powers that be may best be avoided than challenged. But a prime time media campaign to reinforce the proposition is preposterous.

I have always believed that the authorship can be blamed or must be blamed only in some measure and not in full measure. The readership or viewership is also to be blamed. These channels are wasting precious airtime because they are convinced they capture eye balls, and perhaps they are right. Commerce sees no reason, and greed no bar.

AMERICANS WANT A PAPA

The Gallup polls for the mid term polls show an astounding erosion of goodwill for Barack Obama.

I always felt, unlike India which is constantly seeking a mother, regardless of how inept she be about childcare – Sonia, Behnji, Didi and Amma are just a few cases in point, the Americans want fathers. Therefore, their tryst with the much tom tomed egalitarianism testified - voting in a black president and their fancy for mother-like mild mannered, sensitive and polite ObaMA may be short-lived. In the same breath, a woman president, and I say this, as Hillary has kept no secret of her ambitions, is a far dream for this cowboy country.

Nehru, the tall and fearless internationalist too preferred showing in India his softer side more. A man whose presumptuousness would almost always put diplomatic nerds like the high browed Galbraith also at discomfort, his image makers tirelessly chose to project him more like soft Chacha Nehru than hardy Tau Nehru in India. India also elected to neglect or consign to the margins stalwarts like Sardar and Netaji – they were too much of a Papa for them.

We like Mamas, who would cajole and cuddle us more than Papas who deride or demand of us, chide or challenge us. And we like good babas would be willing to reciprocate to Mamas by glossing over their foibles and incompetence than punish them, quite contrary to Americans who would much rather forgive the archetypical male malefactor of a Lewinsky gate than condone callous neglect of statecraft. And they believe, good statecraft is the essential tool particularly for perpetuation of American hegemony delivered better by the Papas.

Whereas, Oba(Ma) from various statements seems reconciled to a single term Presidency, the minions, seemingly resigned to losing in the mid term elections are already crunching numbers, already seeking plausible explanations for the defeat from the study of similar past patterns.

This generation of Americans is witnessing an erosion of their global hegemony. A people that would not deign it necessary to really know where India or Thailand exist on the map, are now being challenged by the very lands they never acknowledged presence of. This is too much for this generation to swallow and of course, the one and only one to blame is the born Muslim Black mama Obama.

Today they are forced to acknowledge the Asian juggernauts. The Asians ( read Indians and Chinese ) are coming is a common board room refrain in the USA. I remember the CEO of an American Pharma MNC recount a dining table conversation that he had with his father, which testifies a paradigm that has indeed shifted. On one occasion when this man, then a young boy in his teens, left food on his plate ( today the Americans consign USD 150 bn dollar worth of food to the bins ), his father admonished him saying there are many people going hungry in India. Today the same guy tells his son, to not leave his homework as there many in India ready to take his job. Just in one generation the paradigm has changed so much. Obama is playing to this sentiment as well. Stop outsourcing. The very use of the word is a faux pas. But if the Papa like Bush senior and junior or the virile Clinton could not even stop human smuggling, and drugs how can they stop outsourcing. Outsourcing is an arbitrage, which can never be stopped as it makes perfect sense for both parties.

TIGER VISA

Tiger Visa

Very soon if not soon enough, some right wing party will write in its manifesto about piloting a treaty with China for tiger visa for Indians, who believe that goddess Kali rode the Tiger to supervise wars, destroy demons and run errands for her consort Rudra. China would by then be at the pinnacle of a uni-polar world. It may deign to allow Indians to visit its Tiger farms for Tiger Tourism.

Today there are more Tigers in the farms of China, by some estimates 5000, being bred in captivity, four time of those today in the wild in India - 1300. My children have wished to go to Sunderbans to see the Panthera Tigris Tigris before this majestic beast and its habitat are both wiped off the face of the earth.

Eventually the Tiger will be known as an oddity that inhabits China. It may come in all moulds, weights and sizes. Of course Chinese manufacturing has no limits. That it ever did inhabit India would be forgotten just like the world as much as we ourselves today have forgotten that martial arts originated in India. While our Kalaripayattu languishes, the martial arts once practiced by Indian monks, are now an art form attributed to the Chinese, Japanese and Koreans, and Indians go there to get 9 Dan Blackbelts. This is just one of the multitude of testimonies of our expertise in heritage destruction. Yoga would soon be a patentable product coming from the US. I remember, Ranbaxy conducted a yoga course and the instructor was a Dane from the US.

Just like we read about the silk route, our great-grandchildren will read about the Tiger route. Tibet, the autonomy of which India has been espousing, is actually the prominent participant in this pervert poaching. Lhasa is the high seat of this trade. You don’t need to avoid the swarm of Han Chinese police in Tibet or even the under cover police in Lhasa to get Tiger skins and other tiger parts that are so blatantly traded in open market in Lhasa. Vendors are willing to deliver them to your hotel, city country wherever. It is done blatantly and brazenly, and right under nose of the Chinese authorities, who chose to turn a Nelsons eye to the activity. Tiger skins and bones are displayed openly with certificates authenticating its wild origin as the farm tigers never fetch the premium that those from the wild do. Stuffed head are trophy possessions.

Years ago, in 2002, when we holidayed in Sariska ( close to Alwar ) supposedly a tiger reserve, all we were shown were spots where sightings had once taken place. There was actually no trace of the tiger there. I am sure there is some money being spent on the Project Tiger which was started in 1972, but how much of it is going to the actual conservation and how much in venal pockets is something that needs no investigation.

In 2008, coinciding with my joining Ethypharm, we took a holiday to Australia. In a theme park ( I don’t remember where ) perhaps Goldcoast, there was a show of the Royal Bengal White Tiger. He was named Taj. An 11 feet long strapping beast prancing about at the orders of its handler.

We all know the western way of life is full of Declarations and Disclaimers. Pretty much in sync with this mentality, the theme party had both to make. The declaration was that the tiger was the on verge of extinction Bengal Tiger, and the disclaimer was, torture was not used to train it. It seems that the tiger away from its Sunderban habitat was too shorn of his mother love and found the same in his handler and thus meekly followed instructions to jump and climb. A really emotional tiger he was.

The British killed some 80,000 tigers in India. They were primarily fox hunters before the Indian Maharajah trained them in this bravado - hounding the beast seated conveniently on a bedecked elephant, scaring it with the sound of the ludicrous drum beating and killing it with the breach loading gun. The largest one weighing 390 kgs was killed by a joker called David Hasinger in 1967 making a record of sorts.

As usual, "save our tiger" is a fancy rallying point, but affirmative actions still remains a distant dream.
Some estimates say, there are 12,000 tigers in USA and 4000 are kept as pets.

MY I-DAY SPEECH WAS IN HINDI

I spoke in Hindi.


Born in Allahabad, to a mother who was struggling to complete her residency at the Kamla Nehru Hospital, and a father a young Captain on field, I spent a lot of time with my grandfather who was then the Director Education for UP. A self made man, but of a very humble origin.

Walk as he would with his penang lawyer, I was his usual and daily companion on this routine to the Alfred Park, the place where Pt Chandrashekhar Sitaram Tiwari died “AZAD” as he could not be captured alive by the police. This story of the supreme sacrifice must have been recounted to me I am sure times without number particularly by the customary raise of the penang lawyer toward the statue, by my grandfather who before he joined the government was himself a revolutionary. But of course, I have no memory of those anecdotal narrations, but for hazy memories of the moustache twirling statue of the great hero. But somewhere down the memory lane, repeated anecdotal references must have made a dent.

This year, when I was asked to make an impromptu speech after I hoisted the flag - being averse to public speaking I was ill prepared - I unconsciously recalled the story of Azad.
An ace shooter, priest to Hanuman temple, which proved to be one of the best disguises for Panditji, a new convert to the socialist thought, and of all a mentor or guru to Bhagat Singh, Azad was the icon who co founded the HRA with Pt Ram Prasad Bismil. I seemed to have culled it out of my cached memory quite effortlessly.

Talking about independence which most of us take so matter of factly and for granted, my grandfather would tell me stories of how the sole purpose of youth of that age was independence. Curisously, when it were the kings fighting, the rebellion of 1857 was quite successfully suppressed and the resistance was decisively quelled. But when the people – the hoi polloi - rose, when women sold their ornaments, when kids mindlessly ran with the diminutive Gandhi ( walking with him was well nigh impossible, his pace was such ), it was impossible to for the British to quell the popular uprising and prolong their stay in India. The manifestation of a popular uprising is so protean, that it becomes impossible to even recognize it, so it is never possible to suppress it. You just smart it.

My grandfather once told me, when his friends had no money for a Mauser, the stationmaster of Mainpuri, a small railway station of UP (United Provinces), suggested to them to raid his office, beat and tie him up and decamp with the Rs 50/- that was needed for the Mauser, which of course the group bought.

Closer to independence, the tricolor ( with the charkha, the chakra was not adopted until 1947, used to be unfurled along with the Union Jack, albeit a few incheS lower. The district Gazette has it, that on one occasion being enraged by the 3 inch lower position of the tricolor, my grandfather – Harishankar, pushed a the District Magistrate J JOHNSTON aside, manhandled him in the presence of a huge gathering and an equally huge police force and pulling the Union Jack down raised the Tricolor to its eminent height. Of course daring acts always have a shock appeal, and by the time, a taken by surprise force reacted, Harishankar was already on the roof of one of the houses, and apparently the house owners were all fighting to get the privilege of giving refuge to this fugitive.

It was this participative patriotism, the revolution of the common man, the last man, that shook the roots of the Raj. The situation, and it mascot - Gandhi, had ensured an all inclusive resistance. The all pervasive hate for the Raj, euphoria for swatantŗatā and swaraj were voices that were cutting across strata. GD Birla wanted riddance from foreign yoke as much as Gajodhar, the quintessential boorish village stereotype of stand up comedian Raju Srivastava.

I vividly recall, we got a negative observation in an audit of our Pharmaceutical factory by a MNC just because, some bottom rung contract house keeping worker did not understand that a steel drum had to be scrubbed clean beyond imagination. The MNC audit team made a critical observation that the solvent making equipment was not clean and the SoP though existed was not being followed. So down the line, the people have to be completely aligned with the goal and aspiration of the organization and contribution of the bottom most rung as critical as that of the top most.

Well, the above was broadly the content of my I - Day speech also. My impromptu speech after I hoisted the flag. I spoke in Hindi. My first speech in Hindi it was. Completely unpremeditated. Something in me impelled me to speak in Hindi. For a few moments I seemed to be quite possessed.

NOTHING APPEALS TO HIM. HE IS A TEENAGER.

There is a situation. A situation of conflict. And the positions of both parties are quite recalcitrant or even irreconcilable. A curious conflict of views and also of thinking in our family, to which I am an onlooker or at best an incidental participant.

Curiously, this is between my mother 67 and my son 14. The former - a matriarch quite conservative even for her generation - and the latter - my elder son - quite precocious and quite different even for his. The usual generation gap gets even more gnawing as both my mother and son are on the extremities of their respective generational spectrums.

Well this is not a classical case of delinquency. It is not a grandmother chiding a teenage grandson for not studying or for being on a excessively long call with a girl or for being glued to TV or play-station. It is more about life, the way you must live, the values that you must imbibe and the philosophy that you must follow and espouse.

When he was 3 yrs of age, he was made to memorise Haldighati, Rani of Jhansi and a poem on the martyrs of Chittor of anonymous authorship. The one mentioned last is a beautiful poem of unknown provenance, was published in Kalyan about 60 years ago, and was memorized by my mother at the instance of her father, and then passed on to my son by her. Her father was indeed a man of great erudition. So when my son was as young as 3, he did memorize and reproduce on demand, to an awe struck audience – my mother is quite prone to demanding such impromptu recitations – sitting in admiration of an infant reciting torturously chaste sanskritized Hindi verse with a clear diction and “veer rasa” like intonation, but of course no understanding of either the significance or the context.

But that was then. Today he has a mind of his own. He is more inclined to abstract painting, and writing verse reading up on game theory, and rightly or wrongly giving in to believing that some will rise only on the expense of others, but clearly not willing to memorize a eulogy on Chittor’s martyrs.

Whereas, my mother would want him to respect mythology, have some basic knowledge of theology and dabble in philosophy with equal sensitivity, he despises the first two but is quite eager to debate on the last. That is to say, he dismisses mythology as buffoonery for lesser minds, disregards theology as useless interpretation of mindless mythology, and creation of rules by a handful few who would like to manipulate a larger lot for self interest and self preservation. So, all that he accepts in some random measure is Philosophy. This is immensely intriguing as philosophy itself is probably debating, descanting and dissecting all that a commoner would like to accept and believe.

Today I read a dialog steeped in dialectical abstraction that he penned. The dialog is between a Serpent and a Saint. Curiously enough, a supposedly indolent serpent is asking questions of a supposedly eminent saint who is responding supposedly sagaciously, but his responses are dismissed by the Serpent as cliched. The serpent shares with the saint what he believes the right perspective. The entire tenor of the dialog that he has conceived is of an impertinent challenge of the supposed erudition of the saint by a sloughing serpent. It is reflective of his deep seated defiance of authority. His deep seated desire to not walk the beaten path. His inclination to rebel. The perplexity caused by the usual debate of causality, determinism and free will.

Well the outcome will never be known. There are no rights and wrongs in this. But clearly today free will is the predominant philosophy that he wants to follow.

WHY FRENCH HATE THE ENGLISH?

Why French hate English?

When the Norman crusader William the Conqueror defeated Harold in 1066 and sat on the throne of England, the French victory, claimed the English, was not so much due to the military prowess of the conqueror from Normandy, as for the battle tired army of Harold.

Of the few stories that my father would repeatedly narrate to me when I was in sub – five, this was surely one. Although, I always knew what was coming next in the story, it was always nice to hear from him.

The French won, yet the British deny them the kudos for this victory, and I wonder if this could be one reason why the French detest the British. Of course they also believe, it was with guile and not guts that the British wrested the colony of India from the French.

Also, Napoleon, who most French hero worship, to the British was never more than a “corsican usurper” – Napoleon was born in Corsica and not France - whose defeat at Waterloo was more importantly a defeat of a paradigm than that of a ruler or despot. The treatment given to him at St Helena was also very shabby.

But I think more than India, the 100 years war or the sordid soccer nationalism that all Europeans are congenitally configured to contest, or the “Corsican” jibe for Boneparte, it was the treatment that the English gave to the beautiful Joan of Arc that peeves the French most.

It is true, Joan was very young and it is also true that she was beautiful and I say this with a credence and also certitude that even her contemporaries can be denied, but what is of greater value is that she was a virgin, and perhaps the only virgin in France then and yet the English killed her. Outrageous and completely unacceptable and clearly a national tragedy! No wonder the French wounds are so permanent and the hostility toward the British so pervasive.

Thankfully, Sania Mirza was never an icon like Joan ‘d Arc, else more than 26/11, this would be the grouse that many of us would nurse against our delinquent neighbor nation. Of course many of us would perhaps most chauvinistically argue if she was a virgin, as for most, that aspect would clearly forsake her iconic tennis star status, just as it did in the case of JoA.

Working for a French company I have started admiring the French. They are always so French, yet so adaptable. They love their cuisine, more so the nouvelle cuisine, and yet they always indulge themselves with the local food and appreciate it so much. Paris is so beautiful, yet they find beauty sometimes even in the squalor of India. They are wired to appreciate the finer and delicate aspects of human life. In the squalor and poverty, they admire the grit of the people to fight and stay happy.

One of my French colleages once said – “ you don’t feel unsafe when you walk through a poor colony in India. In most countries, you feel unsafe including Paris.” How true. And speaks volumes of the Indian culture. The poor never blame the rich for their state. “Niyati” is more often than not the culprit.

In contrast, the American world view is quite myopic, and can be compared to the Indian world view of 3 centuries ago. The world view I am convinced is reflective of the phase in which the civilization is to enter. The myopic world view almost inevitably reflects the beginning of the end.

If you happen to travel intercity in USA, the vast unpopulated terrain does give an illusion that the world is America and nothing beyond. You cannot blame the Americans completely after-all. Their country is actually vast, un-traversable and very sparsely populated. When you are in America, it is difficult to believe there is a world beyond.

But just like Napoleonic surge was arrested by Russian winter, the American surge is already receding in the face of the Chinese checker.

But what I need to research now is why the British detest the French. There is more to it than just reciprocation.

REPLY TO RTI

You have to read this in conjuction with Padma to Saif Ali Khan of an earlier vintage in this blog.

Well, the Home Ministry did finally respond to the RTI application that I had made. And did so in the stipulated period of 30 days. But prevaricated, in-fact the reply was an oblique denial of all that had been so directly asked. It said, most incredulously, it was not aware of any pending duty evasion case or any case with regard to black buck killing. What a blatant lie. I pause and perpend to think, who is responsible for this shamelessness and audacity in a democratically elected government.

In a democratic set up, it is wrong to blame the government. Democratic countries have polities that reflect the attitude and aspirations of the people. The governments are tenured and elected by the people. There is a system of universal adult franchise and adult sufferage. So if anyone has to shoulder the responsibility, it is us - the common man.

But this system works very well in countries where the disparities are not as much as they are in India. With such social contradictions in a land, nay, a sub-continent, that is home to the worlds richest and also the poorest and that too in equal right, home to the most literate and most illiterate also, it is indeed arduous to spell out the common aspiration of the such a diverse peoples. The politicians and bureaucrats make the most of this dilution of common aspiration.

The government knows, such trifling events hardly have any bearing on its life and even credibility. It will go back to the people, and win again. It just has to ensure proper seat allocation and appeal to caste and other parochial prejudices. The job is done. Mountbatten and Churchill, both most presumptuously believed that left to its own India would Balkanize.

When voices of people like Arun Shourie faded away in din of an uncouth, goon and history sheeter manifested parliament, then who would care for a person like me. The RTI was received by the Government and with procedure disposed off. The bureaucrat is so bogged down by being the man Frdiay to the politician, that his heart has stopped bleeding for the common man. The common man that he himself was just before joining the service. The common man that his kin still are, whom he obliges everyday with some bureucratic favor or the other. His predisposition to the common man is just like it should be for a legatee of the oficer of the Raj.

My grandfather who, before becoming a part of the bureaucracy was a freedom fighter. He used to tell me, that independence was the aspiration of each and every man and woman of the country. Everyone wanted to make his or her wee bit of contribution to the struggle for independance of the country. One of the anecdotes that he told me was an operation, for which his group of revolutionary students needed some funds. They approached the railway station. The station master( the highest that an Indian could rise to) exhorted them to tie him up, before they pull out the key of the safe from his pocket and scoot with booty, which would invariably never be more than 50/- but of course enough to buy a mauser.

Independance having being achieved, if taking India to the same level that Bharat was once, would be the next mission or passion of all people, then an RTI like the one that I made would be a golden opportunity for an otherwise bogged by the system bureaucrat to expose the truth. To veritably bring the facts to the fore and be an agent of change, be a tool for getting a wrong undone.

But regretfully, this is a nexus. Today the spineless officer is actually reading and interpreting the fine print of the rule book to the convenience and advantage of the neta. He has aligned his interest with him. He guides the neta on how VIP security can be obtained, how business class foreign travel with family be still managed when ostenibly there is an austerity drive on.

Such a bureuacrat will actually run to the Neta to tell him, how adeptly he had responded to an RTI that raised a fundamental issue like debasing the solemnity of a national award, was rubished by him. He is the complete anti-thesis of my "station-master". He has actually made common cause with the exploiter. There are some who dont make common cause, but turn a Nelson's eye or a too timid to turn the tide.

But I shall not give up yet. I don’t have the grit of an activist, but I shall certainly not stop here. I have some energy still left.

The IPL Awards - A whimper

Well, it was the IPL Award Ceremony at the Grand Hyatt Mumbai. All teams were lodged there, members donning blue IPL T Shirts or the usual Black Suits. Of course, one or two old fashioned members were in Tuxedos as well.

Willy – nilly, I have to admit, players ought to be judged by their play and not their demeanor in arenas which are not of the sport they practice. I say this because off those arenas, most of them are awkward, their expression lacks refinement, they strut around with a swagger that reeks of arrogance from shallow understanding of life and of course, there is often a conspicuous lack of humility; the money that they earn and multiply, oozes out from all quarters, the girls - most of who are mesmerized by the flashy lifestyle, the glitz and glamour of these players and places that they go, and some who just find the sweat and testosterone just too irresistible - keep throwing themselves on these players and keep the attention of audiences and onlookers alike riveted by their juvenile and jaunty behavior. Also, most of these consorts are from middle class background. Their socialite bravado and sometimes saucy looks launch them in these circles. Their tryst with glamour and glitz is post adolescence. Following the trend, they all have to adhere to western couture. The awkwardness and discomfort of carriage is evident. But they must wear gowns. All of them without exception. Thats ordained by the high priests of couture.

I was also surprised to see the now much controversial Lalit Modi apparently acting pretty much in control of the situation even on the eve of his dismissal, beckoning and back slapping players as though the findings that flambéed the fortnight that was, were nothing beyond the the supposedly dead - pan revelations of an arm chair media, not meriting anything more than a cynical sneer from a typically American fall guy, and to be buried out of the peoples memory after a quotidian enquiry.

Well, in this melee the man who stood out, showed grace and also a twinkle of intelligence in his eyes was the diminutive Sunil Gavaskar. In the midst of the big bodied players, our little master though dwarfed, stood out. He had both appeal and aplomb which seem to be growing with the years that he is adding to his age.
One phenomenon which intrigues me no end is the fad of being flanked by burly black bedecked men, who apparently are paid to protect the VIP - the people they lunge around. Why should able bodied players carry protection. I think more than need, it is a matter of trend and fashion. It is a statement of having arrived in life. These guards are mostly a nuisance for people at large, and ironically enough, land up roughing up the very people who build this semblance of stardom about their protectee.

Padma Shree to Saif Ali Khan

I am quite disillusioned and even piqued by the type of people picked by the government for awards. There have been controversies galore about the nominations of the Padma award for decades now. Dr Rajendra Prasad wanted to reward the nurse who looked after him through his illness by the Padma award and mind you she was.

Saif Ali Khan, indicted in multiple cases, like the black buck killing and also the duty evasion case, was also awarded.

Notwithstanding the fact that I have nothing personal against this Khan, I made an RTI application on the procedure followed for short listing for the Padma Award. Of course my angst is more against the government which is making a mockery of these awards than against the Khan, who probably does not even know what he has got.

My making such an application should not give the reader an impression that he was the only person who did not merit the accolade. There are many more. Then why did I choose to writ against the Khan. Well I do not have any sound reason for this, other than he is one undeserving person who I was familiar with and I was precious sure and aware of his indictment in some cases.

But of course, this is true, that these actors are rewarded enough in terms of money and fame that another award from the government would do them hardly any good. Clearly they don’t seek the type of recognition that such awards are associated with. The government needs to clarify to the people what these awards stand for. A committee of peripatetic bureaucrats is hardly the right constitution for recognizing musical, academic, theatrical or any other fine arts talent. Chronically, bidding time in one ministry for a more lucrative tenure in another, perhaps makes them most inappropriate for making such selection. Being themselves, a product of a system that is bereft of any mechanism of recognizing much less nurturing talent, how does one expect them to do this for others.

I do recall, once, while I stood in a queue for check in at the Jet Airways counter, I saw a diminutive man sneak into the queue and ask the counter agent, if the flight could be delayed as Mr Saif Ali Khan accompanied by Ms Kapoor were trapped in traffic. Well to the dismay of this handy man of the Khan, I had overheard him. While Jet Airways seemed inclined to make this small gesture to a big celebrity, I threatened to de-plane if the flight was unduly delayed for any such reason. Since my de-planing and consequent de-manifesting and bag offloading would have delayed the flight much more than the courtesy waiting for the star, good sense prevailed on the airline which confirmed to me that no such special treatment would be extended.

For those who saw the last Filmfare award ceremony, would occasion with me to agree, that the onstage buffoonery of the duo - SRK and SAK – was pitiable. The “chote nawab” joke was really in cheap taste. It bemuses me completely, to imagine how a man who operates at a low mental level that he does, and is involved in criminal cases that he is, be found deserving of such national honours.

Why Micromanage?

Why Micromanage

To micromanage is a syndrome that is becoming more and more prevalent in the corporate world. Well it is established and widely acknowledged that micro – managing has its perils and limitations. I wonder why bosses tend to micro manage.

It is important and prudent to delegate. Just that you have to diligently choose the right person for the right job, which could be onerous at times and of course very critical. Having done that, it is important to delegate, trust the judgment of the operational manager and give them space to exercise discretion and operate.

Today, because of the various conveniently available tools of communication, un-imaginative mangers are encouraged to relinquish their own briefs and minutely chase the progress of their direct reports or those even a step lower. They are completely deprived of new ideas and thus find chasing their manger a task more simply accomplished than creating value at a higher plane or making an action plan for a change of orbit.

I think, one of the most successful empires of the world was the Roman Empire. It was clearly upon the King to look for talent who could govern in his name, following the basic tenets or principles set by the King himself, but nothing beyond. How that value system that the King espoused was to be translated into governance was left to the good judgment of the Governor.

Having chosen the right, dependable and loyal candidate, all that the King would do is to watch his caravan disappear into the dust kicked up by the horse chariots round the corner of the hill.

Selukas Nikator was left behind by the Greek general Alakshendra or Alexander.
Ayodhya was left to Bharat, who governed in the name of Ram ensuring that the values that his elder brother stood for were upheld and the people were safe and happy. Chandragupta ruled upto Taskent of course not by micro-managing.

But e mails, faxes, telephones and above all, video conferences, have your bosses continuously breathing down your necks and always making suggestions which are more like directions.

No micromanagement is also one of the reasons, why companies hived off the parent invariably do better than they were doing as a part of the group, because they become owners of their own destiny. Lucent technologies being hived off from AT&T is a stellar example.